Where Has The Respect Gone?

My mother was born in Puerto Rico. My father was born in the Dominican Republic. Growing up as a first generation born in the immigrant hub of New York City, I have witnessed changes in the way our Hispanic communities execute respect.

Coming from a time where minors did not interject in adult conversations, let alone blatantly disrespect them; I am saddened to see the steady decline in respect for not only our elders, but our cultures as well. Growing up, mi familia made sure that I understood my place as a child. There were unspoken rules which I knew:

• Niños did not get in adult conversations.
• I was to follow all requests by adults as if my mother had ordered it
• I gave up my seat on the bus or train to strangers that were clearly elderly or pregnant
• I was never to raise my voice or my hand to adultos even if I didn't agree with what I was told

Today, that is no longer the case. The line which divides niños y adultos is blurred. The respect for elders, with which I was raised seems lost; as we, Latinos, continue to assimilate into American culture. However, the fact is that this change cannot be blamed on niños. We, los adultos, are the ones that have forgotten to teach our children that there is an unspoken code of conduct.

I am still taken aback when I see niños who are not even in school yet, screaming at adultos in the street. I have ridden on the bus and trains only to see teens and younger adults sitting in a seat and never even glance at the elderly lady who is trying so hard to hold on to the rail so she won't tumble over. They just continue their conversations or sit engrossed in their electronics; seemingly not caring at the looming danger for the viejos right in front of them.

I find myself questioning- where did we go wrong? For many of our familias, moving to the United States was supposed to contribute to having a better life. Did we sell our souls to the devil? Exchanging our respect, culture and pride for a chance at the American Dream? It breaks my heart when I hear mi abuelita say, “Los jovenes hoy, no respectan a nadie!” (“The youth of today, respect no one!)

Is it too late? I believe that if we remember that we live in a community and not just in “our own worlds,” we can reverse this devastating trend in the Hispanic community. The fact is children learn by example and guidance. The first time your child jumps into an adult conversation, correct them. When you ride the bus or train, make your child give up their seat, or give up your own.

We cannot expect our children to learn our costumbres (customs) if we are not teaching them. Respect can be taught again.